Homeless

 Sam has left our relationship.  Not physically, but emotionally and that is a torture so painful I can't even explain.

I still have hope that he will come back, but how long can hope override feeling rejected, disliked, and unwanted before it breaks me?

We've moved a lot of times.  I think somewhere around 40 times.  I have a friend that always calls her house, "her home".  Example:  "Would you like to come over to my home for dinner?"  I've rarely referred to our house as "my home".  I think that is because... if every house I lived in was my home, I would have spent a lot of my life feeling sad to leave my home.  To me, Sam has always been my home.  Not even my kids...  Sam.  Sam is home.  Sam is where I belong.  Sam is where I retreat to when life gets too heavy.

I feel homeless.  I feel lost, scared, and alone.

I just want to go home.

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