Facts don't care about feelings

I had an interesting experience with Sam last week.  I like to open the blinds during the day and let the light come in.  Saturday afternoon I heard Sam yell:  "Krista!  You and your open blinds!"  I went into our room and started laughing when he told me that he was standing there in his underwear when he looked over and saw the UPS guy out our bedroom window, on the front porch.  I reassured him that people can't see in our windows on a bright day like today.  He argued that I was wrong.  I admitted that I might be, and told him to stay there while I went and looked.  I stood on the front porch and tried to see in our bedroom.  I couldn't.  Our bedroom window was open, and I could hear him calling me a faker.

I came back in, and suddenly Sam's teasing mood was defensive.  He told me that it was pointless to talk about it anymore because it was obvious that I wasn't willing to admit anything that led me to anything I didn't want to believe.   I was honestly confused.  I had been willing to look at new information that would challenge my belief.  That was why I went out to the porch.  I tried to tell Sam that and asked him to do the same and go out on the porch.  He told me that is wasn't necessary because he already knew that people can see in.  Then he walked out of our room, obviously angry.

I admit that I felt mad.  What a hypocrite.  He accused me of being bias and unwilling to consider new facts.  I was the one that went around to look in our window to make sure that what I believed was correct.  The evidence that I found, supported what I believed.  It almost seemed like Sam was mad about facts that didn't support his beliefs.

There seems to be a theme here.  Sam doesn't like facts that don't support how he is choosing to live life right now.  He needs reasons to be angry in order to alleviate any feelings of dissonance.  He uses past hurt and unfairness to justify not only actions but his feelings.