3 things

  Why can't I get over how girlfriend has treated me?

1st.  I'm not a good enough person to take one for the team.  Girlfriend holds me 100% responsible for ruining her life and forcing Michael to break up with her.

That's crap.

The truth is, Michael was sick and tired of listening to her constantly complain about what a bitch I was.  On a regular basis, she would tell him that I was unfair.  That our family rules were silly.  The would tell him that I hated her, that I was scary and intimidating.  She would tell him that I hated her and wanted him to break up with her.  She would tell him that I wanted him to date Brynne or Ellah.  She would tell him that I deliberately ignore her.

When I would hear these things, I would defend myself.  I would try and explain my perspective and he'd realize that she was being silly.  In the end, her accusations didn't make him hate me (as I think she was hoping), they only made him feel resentful of her.

She rarely acted like his girlfriend.  She had rules that they could only act like they were dating in private, which was rare.  I think Michael finally realized that he was having to put up with all the crap-parts of having a girlfriend, but wasn't getting any of the perks.

Also.  He's a horny teenage guy.  There was a girl in his stats class that he has a crush on.  I think eventually thought maybe that would be a little less work and a lot more fun.  Over Christmas break, Michael saw her at the movie theater and wouldn't shut up about how hot she was.  A few days before he broke up with girlfriend, he asked me if it was cheating to break up with someone in order to date someone else.  I told him, "no" but it was a jerk thing to do and a typical idiot guy thing to think the grass was greener somewhere else.  Less than a week later, girlfriend was complaining about me and Michael broke up with her.  I told him how dumb he was and tried to get him to undo the breakup.  He didn't and shortly after, Michael hit on the stats girl and she turned him down.  He realized what an idiot he had been and tried to get girlfriend back.  To her credit, she didn't take him back.

Again.  For awhile, I was fine to let her blame me.  I'm not anymore.

Second.  From my perspective, I know that if girlfriend is in Michael's life, I can't be.  Girlfriend has told me that this isn't true and that's nice of her to say, but words don't mean as much as actions.  Her actions tell a much different story.  The bottom line...  What someone says to me means a lot, but what someone says ABOUT me, means much more.  What girlfriend says about me says very clearly that she doesn't want any kind of relationship with me.

Third and last...  When we are grown ups, it's appropriate to keep intimate relationship things between the intimate partners.  Michael and girlfriend are not grownups.  One of the biggest red flags for me is that girlfriend often encourages, or flat out asks him, to keep secrets from his parents.  Contrary to what she thinks, Michael does not run to me and blab all the details for their relationship.  He also doesn't hide things.  He mentions things in casual conversations and is honest about what's going on in his life.  

She is completely opposite of this.  She has asked Michael on multiple occasions to "not tell".  From the very beginning, she even asked him AND ME to keep it a secret that they even liked each other.  This message is not a message I want my kid buy in to.  If you are doing something that you don't want people to know about, then you probably shouldn't be doing it.  Period.