Not helpful

As I mentioned in my previous post, people often ask me what they can do to support me and my family.

I don't have an answer to that.

I CAN tell you some things that I know DO NOT help.

Several months ago, I was struggling.  I couldn't talk to anyone about why, so instead, I started talking to some close friends about other issues.  My subconscious hope was that I would get the empathy and support I desperately needed, without having to tell them what was actually going on.

I think that at some point my friend had simply had enough of hearing me complain and finally told me:  "When I start feeling like you are feeling right now, I realize it's because I'm being selfish and I need to serve other people."

I was stunned.  I wanted to scream at her that if husband came one day and dropped the bombshell on her perfect life, that my husband had dropped on me, I'm pretty sure service would fix it.

A few friends have admitted to me that they are hurt by how distant I seem.  They say that they feel like I'm not being a very good friend and that is making their life hard.  

I'm sorry.  Is my crisis making your life hard?

Many people and church lessons have told me to "just" pray more.  JUST read the scriptures.  JUST do service.  JUST have more faith.

Basically any sentence that starts with "just", will make me feel like kicking you in the face.

Don't tell me that this will make me stronger.  That might be true, but I don't want to hear it because even if that is true, before it can make me stronger, it has to break me.

Don't tell me Jesus doesn't give me more than I can handle.  That's crap.  Many of us are given more than we can handle.  It's why there was an atonement.

An important person in my life told me that, because of my controlling, emasculating personality, this situation is my fault and I need to deal with the issues I've created.  This might be true, but when I'm sitting at rock bottom, that will severely damage our relationship.

Don't take sides.  You might think that it's helpful to be mad at Sam for me.  It's not.

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