I want a divorce

 Twenty years ago, my aunt found out her husband was having an affair.  She decided to stay with him.  I was shocked.  I confidently told myself that if I was ever in a situation where my husband didn't want me, I'd dump him without hesitation.

What I silly little girl I was.
When you are 20+ years into a marriage, it's not so easy to dump the life you've built with someone.  Not only that, but you don't want to.  Just because someone hurts you, or doesn't want you, doesn't turn off the love you have for them.
When Sam told me he wanted a divorce, he did it in a text message while he was out of town.  He explained to me why and expressed his concern for me, but was confident that it was for the best.  Then he sent it, and turned off his phone.  The second I started reading the message, I knew where it was going.  I felt my blood turn to ice and then drain from my body.  When I read the words I knew were coming, the pain and shock I felt were the same as what I would have felt if the text had told me he had died.  I'm convinced that the death of a relationship is just as painful, if not more so, than actual death.  
After the initial gut punch, panic and desperation set in.  
No.  No! I do not accept this.
That was the worst night of my life.

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