When both of us are right

 Human are taught to believe that if one thing is right, the opposite thing has to be wrong.  We see this a lot in politics.  If what I believe is right, than what "Karen" over there believes, is obviously wrong.  It's almost impossible for us to even consider that "Karen" is right because if she's right, that would mean that I'm wrong.

But what if we're both right?

This kind of thinking is just as common, if not more so, in religion.

My perspective has shifted on this over the last year.

Sam doesn't believe that the church is "true".  At first I fought against that, and tried to prove why he was wrong, because proving him wrong would obviously make me right.

Right?

Wrong.

Sam is right.  The church is not true.  The church is judgmental and unwelcoming and NOT a good fit.  For him.

AND...

I am right.  The church is "true" and it's a good fit for me.

Both of these things are true and that's hard to understand.  Especially for a black and white thinker like me.  It's been very interesting for me to truly come to understand that, even though I want to be part of the church, the church is not a good place for everyone.  It's a good fit for people like me.  People that believe Joseph Smith saw God and translated The Book of Mormon.  It's a good fit for people that accept conformity on how they dress, how they speak, how they look, what they watch and what activities they do on Sunday.  It's a good fit if you get married in your early 20's and start having kids shortly after.  It's a good fit if you sit in sacrament meeting and agree with what most of the speakers are saying.

It's not a good fit if you don't want kids.  It's not a good fit if you can't have kids.  It's not a good fit if you're 30 and not married.  It's not a good fit if you're divorced.  It's not a good fit if you're gay.  It's not a good fit if you have tattoos.  It's not a good fit if you're a guy with long hair or a guy that chooses not to go on a mission.  It's not a good fit if you're a girl that wears pants to church or wears more than one pair of earrings.  It's not a good fit if you're uncomfortable with the story the church told us about Joseph Smith.  It's not a good fit if you're uncomfortable with how the church operates it's billion dollar budget.  It's not a good fit if you're uncomfortable with patriarchy.

And anyone that disagrees with me, and argues...  "NO!!  The church welcomes everyone!" Has obviously not experienced what it feels like to not fit the "mormon mold".  I feel like if we could just admit that, we'd be one step closer to breaking the mold.

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