Random Rambles

 I don’t even know what’s happening anymore.  My life is driving me CRAZY.  I feel like I’m going crazy.  I had panic attack at work today.  Straight up panic attack.  I was listening to a talk that I needed to listen to for my YW lesson on Sunday. I didn’t like how I was feeling about the talk, so I started listening to another one by President Nelson.  Halfway through, I don’t even know what happened.  My hands started to tingle.  I felt like I was choking.  My head felt fuzzy and vision started closing in.  I turned the talk off, and started listening to music.  The good news is that with the music, some deep breaths, and some time alone in the bathroom, I was able to get it under control.  But it scared me.  It also frustrates me.  I feel crazy.  I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about it.  I feel like I’ve already overwhelmed the few people that I can talk to.  I know they're tired of hea...

 Holy moly.  I've discovered that I'm someone who really can't move on without dealing with issues.  This can be both a good thing and a bad thing.  It's good because I don't "sweep things under the rug" and hope they disappear.  I clean them up.  But also...  If it's a situation that I isn't easy to clean up, I can't just ignore it.  It's all I can see and think about and it consumes me! These latter of these scenarios is why I blog.  When I can't confront the situation in real life, I let it all out here. We've gone to church for three weeks in a row now.  The first week, I fought back tears.  The last thing I wanted, was for my kids to see me sob through our first time going back to church.  Last week, was okay.  I didn't love it, but I didn't have any kind of physical/emotional reaction to it.  Yesterday was back to bad.  It was okay for a bit, and then suddenly I could feel my body taking over.  My hear...